RELAX! IT’S ONLY MONEY!

I am Judy Davidson, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. I work as a counselor for a large internal employee assistance program serving employees, spouses/significant others and their teenaged children. My clients are dealing with a variety of personal issues including the loaded one of money. What I see is that many people have a hard time talking about money with each other. They often end up fighting on-going money battles that do not ever seem to get resolved. Money becomes a battleground to act out other issues an individual, couple or family might have. People can compound their money problems by actively avoiding the issue or by worrying excessively without taking positive action. Some of the individuals I see find themselves deep in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, because they have not addressed their fears and foibles about money.

I’ve been relatively rich and I’ve been poor—rich is easier but poor is survivable.If you think your poverty is temporary, it’s endurable. You tighten your belt—you eat out less, drive an older car, give simpler gifts, knowing that you will get past the current financial slump. If you are investing in your future (by getting a college education or special training), you are able to live simpler for the time being.

However, if you have not ever had a sense of basic security because you grew up poor or your family faced unexpected financial calamities (due to job layoffs, poor health and disability), you may not be able to relax about money. If you believe that your self-worth and status are equivalent to the amount of your paycheck or savings account, you will find it hard to relax about money. If you watched your parents squabble about money or if they set a poor money management example, it may be hard for you to handle money in a relaxed and healthy way.

I hope to introduce topics that can help you understand and improve your relationship with money. I welcome your questions and comments.
Judy Davidson