Money and Self-Esteem

“We have a 6,000 square foot house on the outskirts of Denver!  And how big is your house?”  These comments came from a woman I was meeting for the first time. Clearly, her self-esteem was tied up in how much money she had and in the possessions she owned.  

Did her introductory comments endear me to her?  No! Make me want to be friends with her?  No!   Even if I could have, I did not want to get in a game of one-up-man-ship with her.   

When people have a healthy level of self-esteem, they do not need money as a merit badge. They are able to use money in a healthy way—to provide for shelter, food, education, health, and some recreation.  They are able to save some for the proverbial rainy day.  They are able to separate their basic worth from their bank account.

How do you know if your self-esteem is too dependent on the amount of money you have or you earn?

____1.  Do you have to have the newest, the latest, and the best?

____2.  Are many of your conversations about what you have just bought?

____3.  Are you constantly comparing yourself to others?

____4.  Do you feel superior to others that make less money than you?

____5.  Do you feel inferior to others that make more money than you?

____6.  Do you worry that your friends would abandon you if you suffered a financial reversal?

____7.  Do you see money as a way of keeping score?

If you answered yes to many of these questions, your self-esteem is tied up in the amount

of money you have and in what you own.  True self esteem comes from within, from triumphing over adversity, from having close and loving relationships and from developing your unique talents.  If money is the way you keep score, you will constantly be subject to the whims of fortune.  In effect, you will be standing on quicksand.

Judy Davidson